Help Vampires are found in every public online community, from those nearest to our hearts to those furthest from our principles.
Instead of consuming of ill-gotten hemoglobin, these vampires suck the very life and energy out of people. By nature they feed on generous individuals who tend towards helping others, and leave their victims exhausted, bitter and dispirited.
Identifying Help Vampires
Identifying Help Vampires can be tricky, because they look like any ordinary person (or internet user, whichever is lesser). But by closely observing an individual’s behavior using this handy checklist, you too can identify Help Vampires in the field:
- Does he ask the same, tired questions others ask (at a rate of once or more per minute)?
- Does he clearly lack the ability or inclination to ask the almighty Google?
- Does he refuse to take the time to ask coherent, specific questions?
- Does he think helping him must be the high point of your day?
- Does he get offensive, as if you need to prove to him why he should use Ruby on Rails?
- Is he obviously just waiting for some poor, well-intentioned person to do all his thinking for him?
- Can you tell he really isn’t interested in having his question answered, so much as getting someone else to do his work?
