Wasn't sure if this was a nod to me!
Give yourself ownership of /etc
sudo chown [your user name] etc
then create a folder and call it 'pulse off' and drag the pulse folder into it.
Now add all the ALSA packages you can find in Synaptic Package Manager but not the ones for Jack or Pulse or OSS. Also install QAS Mixer, QAS Config plus one more whose name escapes me. Launch QAS Mixer and you should see your audio device at bottom of mixer window unchecked. Check it and you should hear a slight pop indicating you now have sound.